Finalmente posso andare (eng. Finally I can go) is a visual diary and stream of consciousness that recounts my coexistence with the death of my grandmother and my aunt.

It all happened during Italy’s first lockdown due to COVID-19, in 2020.

The virus had nothing to do with their passing but it became the obstacle between me and my family.

I lost them, but it’s like I couldn’t live that loss, I couldn’t process what was happening. I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye in person even if my grandma was just half an hour away from me. I was locked in my house with my brother and two important parts of us had just left.

I started looking for a way to express this emptiness, it was the only thing I could do.

I grew up surrounded by nature - my grandparents live in the Umbrian mountains - it always reassured me somehow and I felt like I could talk about these experiences through it.

I couldn’t go out so I brought nature to me.

I started searching in my photographic archive and that’s when this visual diary was born. After almost three years I still find, most of the time unknowingly, glimpses of them in my daily life, in our spaces and in the people that are close to me.

I realized that I’m just trying to create the farewell I couldn’t give but that we all deserve.

@cinzialaliscia