I was the eldest daughter in a large family. My childhood unfolded under constant responsibility, and I assumed adult roles early. I vividly recall summer days when we were not allowed outside. Instead of playing in the yard, there was heat and endless chores: helping my mother in the kitchen, cleaning, caring for younger siblings. My happiest moments were when I could wear a festive dress at kindergarten or school, then I didn’t feel inferior to other girls. These rare episodes only deepened my dream of becoming a grown girl and being elsewhere - beautiful and radiant.

Now I work as a nanny and watch the girl I care for grow up in the sun and endless summer of Los Angeles. This eternal summer highlights the absence of my own. That experience became a turning point, pushing me to return to an unlived childhood, to images, feelings, and fantasies that never materialized.

In my work I combine personal memories with images of girlhood that media turned into commodities. The project includes my childhood photographs and archival images of girls from different eras. By reconstructing and transforming them, I search for how personal memory and collective representations intertwine, and how girlhood identity emerges in this weave.

The project also embraces performative play: I stage still lifes with girlish objects, work with 3D elements, and take self-portraits in dresses. Filters and effects in iPhone apps, introduced to me by the girl I care for, became an important tool. Through them I explore how ready-made digital aesthetics shape the visual language of contemporary girls and influence how they construct images of themselves.

The project also carries a therapeutic dimension: through it I was able to reclaim the voice of the girl that once went unheard.

@osarebel